Host of The Art of Venn and InterVarsity's Digital Learning Director Peggy Kao Enderle returns to the podcast to share a story about her long season of bedrest and hospitalization when she was pregnant with her son. She and Steve explore the dynamic of sacrificing to serve others. And, along the way, Peggy shares insights into how God's work in our past circumstances can prepare us for this present disruption.
LINKS:
We've created a website (updated daily) full of resources to help you with Ministering Digitally Through COVID-19: intervarsity.org/online.
Host of The Art of Venn and InterVarsity's Digital Learning Director Peggy Kao Enderle returns to the podcast to share a story about her long season of bedrest and hospitalization when she was pregnant with her son. She and Steve explore the dynamic of sacrificing to serve others. And, along the way, Peggy shares insights into how God's work in our past circumstances can prepare us for this present disruption.
LINKS:
We've created a website (updated daily) full of resources to help you with Ministering Digitally Through COVID-19: intervarsity.org/online.
Steve Tamayo: 0:02
I'm starting to hear people asking this question. Why should I stay home if I'm not at risk today? Our guest on the podcast is Peggy Kao Enderle. Now, Peggy, normally you're one of the host on this podcast or on the Art of Venn podcast. But I'm so glad that you could join us to share story today.
Peggy Kao Enderle: 0:32
Good morning, Steve.
Steve Tamayo: 0:34
So earlier we were talking about this and you shared a story from years ago, before your son was born. Could you tell us a little bit about what that situation was like?
Peggy Kao Enderle: 0:45
As the weeks have worn on with our shelter in place there was a feeling for me of it doesn't feel as hard in some ways as it feels for others. And I was reflecting on it. And then I realized I've done this before. So when I was 23 a half weeks pregnant, I was started going to early labor. And so I was put on bed rest for the last three months of my pregnancy. And six weeks of those were in the hospital and six weeks of those were at home.
Steve Tamayo: 1:17
And what did you do while you were on bed rest? You're just in bed resting?
Peggy Enderle: 1:22
Puzzles. I had a big foam board and I did these puzzles on them. Bryan would visit me and we would watch the entire Lord of the Rings movies. Extended versions. Thank God we had Internet. Otherwise, I don't know what I would have done if there was nothing.
Steve Tamayo: 1:42
So those weeks just dragged on and on and all. And I mean, I love the Lord of the Rings thing. I'm a nerd. Did it get old at all?
Peggy Kao Enderle: 1:53
You know, there were some perks to being in the hospital for a really long time. They kept upgrading your privileges. And so, towards the end of my hospital stay, I had the hospital secret menu. So instead of choosing between, you know, these two meals every day, I just had a menu that I could check off. And so I couldn't quarter whatever I wanted. Every day and some days, it was double desserts.
Steve Tamayo: 2:19
So you adapted to being stuck at home. You adapted to being stuck in the hospital. Yeah. You learned how toe make life work there.
Peggy Kao Enderle: 2:28
Yeah, I had no choice. I had no choice. And what was at risk was um, delivering Isaac Well, way before he was supposed to come.
Steve Tamayo: 2:39
One of things that really struck me about this story is that being on bed rest, it was for you. But more than that, it was for this other person who you hadn't really met yet you hadn't. You had a name picked out for him, and and you may be felt him move and kick butt at 23 weeks. That's so pretty early.
Peggy Kao Enderle: 3:00
It is. And the first pregnancy had resulted in miscarriage. So I think for anyone who has experienced that, it does kind of cast a cloud over a subsequent pregnancy because you're just nervous. So with this pregnancy having carried it further, but then it being at risk was pretty scary. And so, in some ways, with that on the mind, it was a no brainer to follow the rules of bed rest.
Steve Tamayo: 3:33
And in so doing you were serving this little human who, actually, now is is not a little human anymore. And he's still human. But he's a bigger and bigger and bigger human.
Peggy Kao Enderle: 3:45
Yes. Yes, he's 10 now, and he is in the 95th percentile for height.
Steve Tamayo: 3:53
And do you ever remind him, "There was a time where I was on bed rest in order to to keep you safe."
Peggy Kao Enderle: 4:01
We've told him the story a few times, along with why we named him Isaac, because it means laughter. I know a lot of people are saying stay shelter in place because it's going to save lives. And then there's some who are saying, Well, the economy is in ruins and that's really deeply impacting people, And for me, there really is no perfect solution. Part of my story of being on bed rest was my mom actually passed away when I was on bed rest. She died, two weeks before Isaac was born and Isaac was still born prematurely, but just six weeks early, as opposed to three months early. And so he was in the NICU when we had the funeral for my mom, and there was no perfect solution, right? Do I leave Isaac in the NICU, or do I go be with my mom at her funeral? And so I had to make that choice, and for me it was really asking, thinking to myself, my mom would want me to be with the living. She would want me to stay with Isaac. So I chose to not go to her funeral, actually, and to continue to be with Isaac in the NICU. That's still like to this day. I was like, I was not at my mom's own funeral. Um, that's hard.
Steve Tamayo: 5:25
Yeah. So you've had to make hard decisions, some that felt clearer than others. How have you changed as you've made those hard decisions?
Peggy Kao Enderle: 5:37
I went through a season where it took a while for me to I feel like I could hope in life again. Um, the passage that really challenged me for a while and I wrestled with is, "the confidence that I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living" because, uh, I had seen so much difficulty. So I think there's a, I guess you could say, maybe you could call it up a tempered hopefulness. And there's really a way in which, at those points and even now, what I say to myself and not in resignation, but just acceptance of it is what it is. This is where we're at. We're making choices that hopefully will payout and nobody can guarantee it. But we're trying to make the best choices for the people around us, make choices that take our community in mind. And who knows if we're making the right choice?
Steve Tamayo: 6:48
I think that's a lot of what I'm struggling with now is having to make choices, not knowing that I'm making the right choice.
Peggy Kao Enderle: 6:58
And maybe that's an illusion that we think we could make the perfect choice or the right choice and know exactly the outcomes. There are things you do put faith in, like I sat down in my chair with the belief that it wasn't gonna break when I sat down. But even that's not a complete certainty. We just make the decisions knowing we have limited information and have some grace on ourselves if we don't make the best decision,
Steve Tamayo: 7:29
That's a good word. Grace for ourselves if it turns out we didn't make the best decision. So Peggy, you are on bed rest for quite some time. How were you able to maintain your perspective?
Peggy Kao Enderle: 7:43
So it was all of a set of my worlds got very small. I was confined to a room and then these things I normally take for granted were now considered privileges. Some of my privileges were I could leave the bed and go to the bathroom by myself, and I could take a shower. I was able to go on a 15 minute wheelchair ride outside the hospital every day, and I think one time the doctors rotated and a new doctor came and they took away that privilege. They took away my wheelchair privileges because they weren't quite sure if I was okay to sit up for that long, and I remember being so bummed out like my wheelchair privileges were taken away. But in so many ways, it's all relative. I had a roommate for a little bit, and she had to use a bedpan, and she couldn't get up to use the bathroom. So we're all dealt with our own circumstances, and there's ways that weaken except with the circumstances. we're dealt at that moment, recognizing things that we take for granted can become privileges.
Steve Tamayo: 8:59
How are you putting that perspective into practice today? While quarantining while kind of social distancing...
Peggy Kao Enderle: 9:09
We have not had to stock up on anything. They're minor inconveniences, right? The pasta sauce we always get is out. But hey, look, I can buy a box of marinara and add my own spices.
Steve Tamayo: 9:27
And that's a choice that you make instead of focusing on. I can't get the sauce that I like you focus on. Look at what I still have. Look at what the Lord is still providing.
Peggy Kao Enderle: 9:38
Yeah, there's there's a lot other worries and concerns I know other people are dealing with right now that I just know it's a huge privilege that it's not my concern.
Steve Tamayo: 9:52
Well, hey, if you're listening to this, I want to encourage you. There may be some things that you went through earlier in your life that actually equip you and prepare you to be healthy and to be compassionate and loving in the midst of this disruption. I wonder if you could take a little time today and explore what those things are like. Peggy's bed rest story. Maybe you have a story like that and you can see Oh, wow. The Lord is preparing me toe. Have perspective, Peggy. Thanks so much for sharing your story.
Peggy Kao Enderle: 10:28
Thanks, Steve.